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Well I wrote this a while ago, but I didn't put it in because I knew someone would freak out at the time *cough* Hannah *cough*. So here it is....
Losing Hope I don't know what to do.
My reason for living is leaving.
What I have been looking forward to, and working towards and saving for is going away.
I don't have much hope today.
There's been other times, other fights, other problems.
But never before have I had so little hope that things will work out right. I don't know what to do.
I want to press the gas until my engine screams and dies.
I want to push the speed until my tires lose their grip and are drug screaming off the road.
I want to see how high I can fly, and I don't care how hard I land. I don't know what to do.
How can I commit when I get a response of maybe.
I've been ready for a while now.
She wasn't anyway, maybe it's no great loss.
This is just fear I won't be the most important.
Fear her parents mean more. I don't know where to go from here.
If things go as they seem I'll have another failure to add to the list.
More years of my life to throw away.
More private tears, public bravado and posturing to make myself feel ok.
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